I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
