i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
