My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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