were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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