so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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