Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
