I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Randomize
