I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
