man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I need a beard to bite.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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