Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
