Screwed.edu
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
