I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
