The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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