I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
