Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
