i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
