Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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