dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
