My Higher Power is John Stamos
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
