Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
