I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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