I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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