I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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