Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I take back everything I said about communal showers
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
