i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
After tacos, we're chasing women.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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