okay pat passed out under dana's car
Nicole vs. Life
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
It's shark week go big or go home
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
