One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
