is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
