my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
