He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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