My friends, they love my intelligence
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
