Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
