dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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