dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
i've created a new STD.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
