Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You left your phone here
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