I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
