dude i'm inner monologue high
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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