I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
