glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
