I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
