do herpes really smell.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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