Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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