Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
