He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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