So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
