Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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