I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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