ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
