hotel room ftw
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
