Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he was CRYING into my vagina
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
