i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He? As in you personified your dick?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
